


Six Ways to Sunday

by JennaLee



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 09:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12295851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee
Summary: Ross wants to know just how big Excalibur is. He also might be a little bit in love.





	Six Ways to Sunday

“You’re a _what?_ ”

“A size queen,” Ross repeats himself seriously. “You know. I like getting fucked by really big - ”

“Oh, my God, I know what a size queen is!”

Ross shrugs. Dan is so innocent about some things, he never knows for sure if he should explain. He watches Dan carefully out of the corner of his eye, loving the way Dan’s face is getting redder by the minute. It’s pretty clear that Dan wants to know more, but the question is if he’d find the courage to ask or if Ross would just have to start talking on his own. Patience isn’t exactly one of Ross’s strong points, but he tries his best.

Dan breaks first, luckily. “So why did you have to tell me that?” he blurts. “Isn’t it, you know, sort of…personal?”

Ross shrugs again. “I’m just making conversation. It’s what you do with your coworkers. Water cooler talk, you know.”

“Water cooler talk,” Dan repeats incredulously.

Ross pats him on his big floofy head. “You look flustered,” he says cheerfully.

“I’m not _flustered,_ ” Dan mutters. “Just trying to bleach the images out of my brain, that’s all.”

“What images?”

“Ross, I swear to God…”

“Are you thinking of me getting fucked by a big dick?”

“Goddammit, Ross!”

“Whose dick is it?”

“Go back to your damn office. You know Arin built it for you to keep you out of everyone’s way.”

“Is it your dick? Did you imagine me getting reamed by Excalibur?”

Dan blushes to the roots of his hair. “Why - why would I - why would you - it - _no!_!”

“Oh. Then whose dick was it?” Ross is sincerely curious.

“Nobody’s!”

“So it was like a disembodied dick,” Ross speculates. “Like a glory hole, or - ”

The door opens and Arin steps inside, his eyebrows raised. Clearly he’d heard the last part of their conversation. Dan’s face gets even redder.

“Hi Arin,” Ross greets, unfazed. “You look nice. How was your weekend? Is that a new shirt?”

Dan whirls on him before Arin can answer. “ _That’s_ water cooler talk, Ross. See, you do know how to make fucking small talk without bringing up fuckin’ - _disembodied dicks_ \- ”

“Disembodied dicks,” Arin repeats with a frown. “Do you mean like dildos? Or - like the spirits of dicks? Ghost dicks?”

“Dildos, I think,” Ross says, “although if you believe in ghosts, you gotta believe in ghost dicks, but I don’t know if they could actually fuck anybody.”

“Maybe it just feels sort of cold and violating,” Arin suggests.

“I’d fuck a ghost,” Ross muses. “Or get fucked by one. If I could.”

“So would I.” Arin studies Dan. “Dan, are you okay? Your face is like bright red.”

Ross is happy to explain. “He was thinking about me getting fucked with a big dick, but it wasn’t _his_ dick.”

Arin frowns. “Then whose dick was it?”

“Exactly!” Ross throws up his hands.

Dan fixes him with a long-suffering look. “I just remembered. I have something to work on. It’s at the opposite end of this building. Far away from you.”

“Good talk,” Ross calls after him. 

He’s left alone with Arin, who raises an eyebrow at him.

“You’re not subtle, Ross.”

“I know,” Ross shrugs. “But it’s Dan. Sometimes you have to be blunt.”

**

“So I’ve been thinking,” Ross says loudly as he comes up behind Dan in the kitchen suddenly.

Dan jumps and the piece of toast in his hand goes flying. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

“It’s probably still good,” Ross assures him, watching the toast go skittering into the corner. “Ten second rule. The floor’s really clean.”

“It had peanut butter on it.”

“Oh, sorry.” Ross opens the fridge and grabs the foil-wrapped chalupa left over from lunch. “Is it that gross liquid organic shit?”

“It was,” Dan huffs. 

“Oh,” Ross says. “Then you’re welcome.”

Dan makes a noise that sounds halfway between a sigh and a growl and bends to retrieve what was left of his mid-afternoon snack. 

“I’ll make you another one,” Ross offers after a beat.

“I can make my own toast, thanks.”

“Oh, alright. So I’ve been thinking,” Ross continues, watching Dan grab another piece of bread. “You have a big dick, right? Or is that just like, part of your character?”

Dan drops the new piece of bread onto his shoes. “ _What?_ ”

“Your dick,” Ross repeats. “How big is it? Like, be honest.”

“That’s - that’s none of your business, Ross!”

“It’s just a question. Friends ask personal questions sometimes, and that‘s okay.” Ross crams a huge bite of chalupa in his mouth and chews it noisily with his mouth open. “Aren’t we friends, Danny?”

Dan picks up the bread and tosses it in the garbage. He gets a new slice and pops it in the toaster. He looks to the left. Then he looks to the right. Ross wonders if he’s making sure nobody is listening, or if he’s hoping somebody will come rescue him. Finally he looks back to Ross, defeated. “What do you want to know for?”

“Because.”

“That’s not…are you five years old? That’s not an answer.”

“Because I want to know,” Ross elaborates.

Dan tries to play suave and cool as if he’s not blushing like a schoolgirl. “It gets the job done,” he says. Then he jumps when the toaster pops up and Ross giggles.

“Is it bigger than five inches?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Bigger than six?”

“Yes, Ross. For fuck’s sake.” Dan takes a spoon and scrapes out the last of the peanut butter from the jar. There’s not enough to cover both slices. Dan pauses, frowns, then grabs the Nutella. 

“Bigger than seven?”

“Yes. Can I eat my toast now?”

“So like…eight…eight and a half?”

Dan gives a modest shrug. “Around there, yeah.” 

Ross brightens up. “Really?!”

“Why does that make you so happy?” Dan’s fingers are shaky. He slices a banana and arranges the pieces on top of his toast. 

If it were almost anybody else, Ross would make his move now. He’d cock a hipshot pose, let his shirt ride up to expose his taut stomach and low-riding jeans, make his eyes go soft and dreamy. A knowing little smirk on his face like _yeah, you want this_ and maybe a peek of tongue swiping across his lip to make it pink and shiny. If it were someone else, Ross would answer, _Because I love big dicks, can I please suck yours?_ and they would be putty in his hands.

But this was Dan, and Dan needed some work. He needed some coaxing. Push him too hard and he’d run away.

He’d be thinking about Ross all day now. Let it stew. 

So he doesn’t answer Dan’s question. Instead he asks, in a plaintive little voice, “Danny?”

Dan had just opened his mouth to take a bite. “What.”

“Can you make me a toast like that too please?”

“But you’re not even done your - ”

Ross crams the rest of his chalupa in his mouth.

Dan sighs and reaches for the bread. “Okay, but no more questions about my dick today. No - oh, no Ross, please, wait until you’re done chewing. Or - you can just nod - okay. Okay. I’ll make your toast. Sit still, for God’s sake.”

When Dan presents him with a plate, Ross snags the spoon he was using to spread the Nutella and wraps his mouth around it obscenely to lick it clean. 

“What?” he asks innocently when he sees Dan staring. 

And he knows Dan’s lying through his teeth when he answers, “Nothing.”

**

Ross spends a good deal of time thinking about his next move.

It’s obvious that the gears are turning in Dan’s head. He keeps looking at Ross with a mixture of curiosity and fear - fear of the new things he was feeling, Ross hopes, and not fear that Ross would ambush him and ruin his lunch again - and finding reasons to come by his office. They have lunch together two days in a row, sitting at the same table in the Grump kitchen, so close their knees touch. 

Ross enjoys spending time with Dan, but he doesn’t want to lose sight of the goal. But what more can he do? Take Dan on a date? Buy him flowers? He’s already giving Dan the whole works - the bedroom eyes, the cute breathy voice, the skin-tight T-shirts that don’t quite cover his stomach when he stretches. And yet he feels like he’s still no closer to that dick than before.

But eventually Ross realizes he’s over thinking things. When it came to Dan, the best approach was usually the simplest one. 

“Do you want to come over to my place after work?” 

Dan looks wary. “Sure?”

 _Ross O’Donovan, master of seduction._ Ross straightens his back and grins proudly.

Dan looks even warier. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Of course not,” Ross says innocently, beaming. “You wanna leave around five-thirty?”

“I’ll ask Arin.”

Ross frowns. “What’s Arin got to do with it?” If he had any competition for Dan’s affection, it was with Arin. 

“We’re starting a new game,” Dan explains, looking happy at the very thought of it. “I forget what it’s called but it’s one he actually likes. He might want to record a little later than usual.”

Arin was Ross’s best friend, but if he cock-blocked him, Ross was going to have to give him a wedgie he’d never forget. _Think, Ross._ “I’ll make you chicken nuggets.”

Dan rests a finger on his chin. “I do like chicken nuggets.” 

“And I’ve got the dinosaur-shaped ones.”

Dan laughs aloud. “Why do you even have the dinosaur ones?”

“They taste better than the regular kind,” Ross answers like it’s obvious.

Dan laughs again. He laughs a lot when he’s nervous. 

Studying him, Ross tries to ascertain whether Dan will end up chickening out if Ross makes a move. He doesn’t think so - not when Dan keeps looking at Ross with his lips slightly parted, and quickly looking away. Not when Dan’s hands keep moving, fidgeting with the label on his water bottle or drumming a beat on his skinny thigh. He’s full of energy and he doesn’t have an outlet. Ross can imagine him staying up half the night thinking about Ross, Ross loving big dicks, asking questions about _his_ dick, maybe struggling to come to terms with this all meant while imagining Ross’s lips wrapping around his shaft like they’d wrapped around the spoon…

“I’ll go talk to Arin,” Dan promises. After a moment of hesitation, he lays his hand lightly on Ross’s forearm. His palm is hot and damp. Dan, who’s always too cold, who’s always wrapped in a blanket when the AC is on. 

Ross smirks to himself. He looks at Dan’s long-fingered hand, lets his eyes drag slowly up the length of his arm, to his chest, to his neck, where the Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. His gaze lingers only for a second too long at Dan’s mouth before meeting his eyes again. 

“Let me know what he says,” Ross replies lightly.

“Who?” Dan looks like someone hit him with a frying pan.

Ross giggles. “Arin.”

“Oh.” Dan quickly ducks his head and fumbles for his water bottle. “I, um. I will. ”

“Cool.” _Eight and a half inches,_ Ross reminds himself gleefully. _Come on Arin, let him off early. Eight and a half inches._

“Bye, Dan,” Ross says breezily as he heads back to his office. 

**

Dan makes a compromise. Seven o’clock. 

That suits Ross fine; the sun will be just about to set, and Ross can light some of the pretty beeswax candles Holly bought at the market. Dan was a romantic, and candlelight would probably help him feel amorous. It also gives Ross time to run out and get some condoms in case Dan wanted to wear one. Ross doesn’t bother with them with Holly, and he doesn’t personally see the point with Dan, either, but it’d be good to have the option there just in case. Once that’s done, Ross plans on taking some time to prep himself - he’s not sure if Dan knows how, or if he’s ever done anyone in the butt at all. 

Ross closes his eyes and thinks of just pushing Dan down on the couch, getting his dick out, climbing into his lap and just sinking all the way down in one smooth roll of his hips. Filled up so good, Dan’s eyes wide as he feels Ross so tight around him…and Dan would be gentle, hesitant, Ross would have to beg and plead until Dan got the picture and began to snap his hips up to meet Ross on the down thrust. 

He’s hard in his pants now. He glances at the clock. It’s not even four o’clock yet.

“Fuck,” Ross groans, dropping his chin onto his folded arms. 

His office suddenly seems stuffy. Claustrophobic. Ross shakes out his legs, wriggles his shoulders in little circles to loosen them. Eventually his over-excitable dick calms down. Ross gives it a reassuring pat through his jeans. A faint hum of arousal is still flowing through him, a trickle of gasoline just waiting to ignite.

He needs a distraction. Ross stands up abruptly and pushes his office door open, thinking about making a tea or going for a brisk walk to the boba place down the street. The grump space is curiously quiet. Faintly, Ross hears Arin’s distinctive timbre, though he can’t make out what he’s saying. Whatever it is, it must be funny, because then Ross catches Dan’s tinkly laugh. 

Ross stops in the corridor as his heart gives a little thump in his chest. God, he loves that laugh. As much as Ross likes to tease him, he does admire Dan, with all his sunny earnest adorable ways. And while Dan cheerfully threatened Ross with physical violence or death on a near daily basis, Ross knew Dan counted him among his best friends. If this all went to shit, their friendship wouldn’t be affected. Dan would never let that happen, and neither would Ross.

He’s cautiously hopeful. Holly had been encouraging, and Holly was observant.

Dan, tall and leggy, cheerful and loving. That kissable mouth, that roguish eyebrow scar. That eight-and-a-half inch monster in his pants.

Ross looks at his phone. It’s still two minutes to four.

“Fuck,” he says again. Time was fucking _crawling_.

Three hours to kill. He can make it.

**

They’re on the couch together, and Ross has the obligatory movie playing, something he knows Dan’s seen a hundred times, so the plot won’t be more distracting or interesting than Ross himself. He has Dan on his couch, reclined, with his thighs spread and his feet up on the coffee table. 

Ross sips his milk, waits for the right moment. It’s hard for him to keep still. His eyes keep being drawn to the size of Dan’s feet. _You know what they say about guys with big feet._

Dan closes his eyes and stretches, his back arching, hips thrusting slightly upward. His jeans are tight across the crotch. Ross drinks in the sight of his bulge, then his gaze wanders up to Dan’s face. Dan’s eyelashes cast shadows against his cheek in the candlelight. One rogue curl drops over his forehead and Dan’s long elegant fingers push it away. Weird thumbs and all, his hands are beautiful. Dan is beautiful all over.

Suddenly it hits him hard, just how much he wants Dan, how much he loves him. It’s at that moment that Ross realizes that he’s in way deeper than he thought.

“Shit,” he says out loud.

Dan’s eyes open. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

There must be something on his face, because Dan’s softens and he leans closer. “You’re not getting sick again, are you? You’re overworking yourself.”

“I’m not sick. I just really, really need to do something or I’m going to implode.”

Dan looks alarmed and edges back.

“I’m not going to fart,” Ross says hastily.

“I never know with you.”

“You’re ruining the moment.”

“I’m ruining what moment?” The corner of Dan’s mouth quirks up.

Ross looks at Dan’s lips, holds his gaze there long enough for Dan to notice. Dan’s eyes widen slightly. Now he’s looking at Ross’s mouth.

“Ross?” Dan breathes out his name, sounding ridiculously sensual for the big gangly dork that he was. 

Ross makes eye contact, checking to see if Dan’s on the same page, and yeah. Oh, fuck, yeah, Dan’s thick-headed but not a complete idiot; he’s picking up on the vibes. And though he looks scared, he’s not pulling away.

Well, even so, Dan sure as shit isn’t going to make the first move, so Ross does. He reaches up, brushes Dan’s hair aside, and leans in to press a chaste kiss to his mouth.

Ross feels Dan suck in a breath. Ross makes it quick, pulls back before Dan runs. Dan’s left looking shell-shocked, unsure of himself, a big awkward clumsy puppy in a six-foot-two frame. Still, Ross hopes that Dan will give some indication that he wants Ross to do it again.

But instead, Dan looks away. Ross’s hand is still in his hair. When he tries to cup Dan’s cheek, Dan shakes his head.

Disappointment feels like a big heavy boulder in Ross’s stomach. 

“Don’t,” Dan says quietly. “Don’t play with me like this, Ross.”

“Maybe I’m not playing.” Ross meets Dan’s eyes.

“You _are_.” Dan’s voice cracks. “Ross, I can’t give you what you want.”

“What do you think I want?”

“You want me for my dick. That’s it. You don’t know - you don’t know that I - ”

“I don’t know what?” Ross prompts, but Dan just shakes his head again, looking miserable. After a beat of silence Ross continues. “You think I don’t care about the rest of you? It’s not just your dick. Your dick is just a perk.”

“A perk?”

“Yeah,” Ross says, encouraged. “Like the coconut sprinkles on an Iced VoVo. It’s great and all, but you don’t eat one just for the coconut, you know? You eat it because you want the whole delicious cookie and the raspberry and the pink stuff all together.”

Dan blinks, totally bemused. “What the fuck?”

“Never mind. I love you, okay?”

“You do?”

“Of course.” Ross’s forehead creases. “You didn’t know?”

“I know that you’re obsessed with the size of my dick.”

“I don’t just want your dick,” Ross tells him again. He grins and tilts his head, hitches his eyebrows up. “I want the whole package.”

That gets a smile from Dan. He relaxes visibly and seems to draw upon some well of courage. “I love you too,” Dan tells him. “As a friend, but maybe also…more than that. And that’s why…if this is going to be a one-time thing, or something casual, I’m…gonna have to say no. I’m really flattered, but I can’t do casual.”

Ross gives him a look. “It’s not a one-time thing, unless you decide later that you don’t want to do this again. I mean, know I can be a bit forward - ”

Dan snorts. “You think?”

“ - but I promise, I wouldn’t be doing this if I only wanted sex from you. If I just wanted some anonymous big dick, I could post a Craigslist ad.”

Dan looks immediately alarmed. “That doesn’t sound safe.”

“I said I’m _not_ doing that,” Ross stresses firmly. “Because for one, I don’t do casual either, and two, there’s this other guy with a really big dick who’s also really fucking hot, and he’s one of my best friends already, and I think I might be kind of in love with him. And he’s also one hundred percent less likely to murder me and throw my body in a dumpster.”

“Does it all come back to the dick factor?”

“Well, no. You’re still really hot. Even if you had a micro-penis, I’d give you a shot.”

Dan scrubs at his face in embarrassment. “Ross!”

“It would make blowjobs super easy,” Ross muses. “A micro-penis, I mean. Even though I can deepthroat like you would not believe. I don’t really have a gag reflex.”

“Oh my God,” Dan blinks. “I - jesus, Ross, are you…would you…really?”

“You knew that. It’s how I do my milk trick.”

“I just thought…you were exaggerating, or…”

“Nope,” Ross says cheerfully. “I can just swallow anything right down, no problem.”

“Oh.” Dan wrings his hands. “Oh.”

Ross tilts his head and runs his tongue over his bottom lip, watches Dan’s eyes follow the movement. Time to go in for the kill. “Do you want me to prove it?”

Dan opens his mouth and a strangled noise comes out before he manages to croak, “Yes?”

“Oh, good.” Ross drops to his knees and settles between Dan’s legs. It’s a little squishy and the edge of the coffee table is digging into his back, but that’s okay. The couch is at a good height for this. Ross can rest his butt on his heels and brace his elbows on the cushions.

“Ross!” squeaks Dan.

“What? You just said you want me to - ”

Dan cuts him off with a wave of his hand. He sounds a little hysterical. “I just didn’t think it would literally happen right away!”

Ross frowns. “Do you need more foreplay? I can kiss you some more, if you want.”

“I, um. No? I’m good. Although I do want to kiss you again. Maybe after.”

Ross gets Dan’s button opened, the zipper down. He’s wearing boxers underneath, but Ross doesn’t want to go fishing around in the fly. He just yanks the front down, eager to see, and is promptly surprised by Dan’s cock springing out and smacking him squarely between the eyes.

“Whoa!”

“Oops,” Dan says from above him, and the bastard is giggling.

Ross makes a face at him, but he doesn’t mind. It’s hard to be mad when there’s a glorious dick in his face. He hadn’t expected Dan to be so hard already. He’s already big, like porn star big, and he’s still not a hundred percent erect. Ross takes him in hand, marvelling at the heft of it. 

“You’re huge,” Ross informs him matter-of-factly. “You should have told me about this a long time ago.”

“I’m not in the habit of advertising my dick size to my friends,” Dan says dryly.

Ross nods sagely. “It’s like having a pickup truck. Once your friends know you have one, your weekends are fucked.”

Dan laughs a little too hard, still full of nervous tension. Ross grins and kisses his skinny thigh, the denim rough against his lips. The muscles relax slightly at the touch, and Dan’s hands unfurl and reach out to caress Ross’s shoulders. 

Ross kisses him again, this time on the underside of his cock, which is now hard as steel. Dan jumps. So does his dick.

“Will it fit in your mouth?” Dan asks earnestly. He’s not even trying to talk dirty. He’s just sincerely curious.

Ross squints up at him. “I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.”

“Really?” Dan’s impressed. “Arin tried once, he almost managed to - oh, oh shit, mmm, fuck, _Ross!_ ”

“Mmmf,” Ross agrees, smiling around the dick in his mouth. He knows damn well that he’s good at this.

Despite his boasts, it is a bit of a stretch. Ross has to drop his jaw wide to take in the head. Immediately, he feels himself start to slip into that blissful state he knows so well. There’s something so hypnotizing about sucking dick, something submissive yet powerful. Ross loves the taste, the velvety texture of the head sliding past his lips, the way he can feel the veins against his tongue. 

“Oh, Ross,” Dan moans, pushing his fingers through Ross’s hair. “How did you learn how to do this so good?”

Ross laughs to himself. He’s barely begun. He pulls off with a slurp. “Holly likes to watch me suck her strap-on.”

“Oh,” Dan says dazedly.

Ross takes a good deep breath of air in through his nose and bends forward, letting Dan’s cock slide in until it bumps the back of his throat. Dan makes a strangled noise as Ross swallows around him. Ross is content to stay there, pushing himself slowly forward and staying relaxed to let Dan’s cock push past the curve of his throat. It blocks his windpipe and feels a little sore, but Dan’s noises are worth it. 

Dan’s cock presses against his tongue and Ross makes a disgusting wet noise. Jesus, that’s a lot of dick. He pulls off to breathe and plunges back down again, easier now with Dan’s dick so wet with spit. Up, and down, faster now, harder, until his lips are numb and he can feel his chin soaked with his own saliva. Dan is moaning beautifully and Ross’s mind is drifting away, so happy to be making Dan happy.

“Ross,” Dan says urgently, bringing Ross back down from the clouds. “ _Ross!_ ”

“Mmh?” Ross strains to look up at Dan with a mouthful of dick. 

“I’m gonna come. I’m close. I - I don’t know if you want me to - or where you want it - ”

“What the fuck.” Ross spits out Dan’s dick. “Don’t come yet, what the fuck, you’re supposed to fuck me!”

“I am?”

“Don’t you want to?”

Dan grabs the base of his dick firmly like he’s trying to keep from shooting all over Ross’s indignant face. “Jesus, Ross. You mean, you want me to put it in…your ass?”

“No,” Ross says, deadpan. He grabs Dan’s hips until Dan lifts his ass off the couch, and yanks Dan’s jeans and underwear down all the way. “I want you to put it in my belly button. Of fucking course I want you to put it in my ass.” 

Dan groans loudly and moves as if he’s going to stand up, and Ross hurries to scramble to his feet so he can push him back down. “No, no, stay there.” 

Dan’s dick twitches in the cool air, spit-slick and shiny. “But I - ”

“Shh.” Ross pulls Dan’s shirt over his head and flings it across the room. Dan is naked now, and Ross is still fully clothed. Dan looks a little shy, but he smiles when he sees Ross checking him out with obvious appreciation. His eyes get big when Ross starts to take off his own clothes. Ross pauses with his thumbs beneath the waistband of his briefs, watches Dan lean forward, his pink tongue darting out.

Ross smirks and pulls the briefs down to mid-thigh. He leans on one hip and cocks his head to the side, raising one eyebrow like he’s saying _Yeah, you like what you see?_

Dan swallows audibly. He stares at Ross’s erection for a very long time. Ross can see him drinking in the details, becoming surprised at his body’s response. “You look… _wow_ , Ross. You’re beautiful. I never knew…”

Ross hears the sincerity in Dan’s voice and feels himself colour. “So are you,” is his lame response, but Dan practically glows. 

There’d be time for tender words and romance later. Right now, there’s work to be done. Ross grabs the lube from where he’d stashed it between the couch cushions. Dan offers a hand, but Ross smacks it away. “I wanna do it.”

Dan makes a sound that’s half-laugh, half-gasp as Ross squeezes the lube bottle with a disgusting splattering noise that sounds like a raspberry, drizzling it thickly up and down Dan’s shaft like a hotdog. Ross squirts more into his hand and cups it over the head, then strokes Dan lightly to ensure he’s completely coated. Dan’s cock is a nice fit in his hand, but using two wouldn’t be overkill. He would try it, but then both of his hands would be all lubey, and that was just extra unnecessary mess. 

“It’s like a bastard sword,” Ross says, suddenly and brightly as he continues to jack Dan’s dick. Dan is so wonderfully responsive, his cock jerking with every brush of Ross’s fingers at the sensitive spot beneath the head, his hips making tiny furtive movements like he wants to thrust into Ross’s hand.

“ _What_.”

“You know, like in Game of Thrones. There’s regular swords, and great swords that you need two hands for, and then there’s an in-between one. The bastard sword. That’s what your dick is.”

Dan groans. “Can you please just - talk about normal bedroom things? Or just get on with it?”

“Pushy,” Ross says. “I like that.” He grins at Dan as he climbs into his lap, spreading his legs wide and arching his back. Dan’s cock presses between his cheeks, and oh, God, it’s so thick and hot and slippery. Ross can’t help but moan, already so worked up. He shimmies his hips and gets the head up against his hole. 

“Ah, fuck,” he breathes. It feels so good there, the teasing blunt promise. “You ready, Dan?”

“Wait, wait. I, um. I don’t know how…” Dan’s hands flit up and down the length of Ross’s body as if he can’t decide where to put them. He settles on the slight swell of Ross’s hips. “Is this…are we….”

Ross gives him ten more seconds, but Dan is apparently incapable of finishing that thought. “Was there a sentence in there, or do you just like the sound of your own voice?”

Dan swallows visibly. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits. “You know I’ve never…not with a guy…”

“That’s why I’m gonna ride you first,” Ross explains.

“Shouldn’t I…prepare you? Finger you?”

“Oh, I did that already.”

Dan reddens. “You fingered yourself?”

“Yeah,” Ross smiles, “and then I used a dildo.”

“You have a _dildo_?”

“I have several of them.” Ross wriggles in Dan’s grip, re-aligning himself. He can feel his hole clenching forlornly.

Dan looks alarmed, but doesn’t let go. “Do you always squirm this much?”

“It usually helps if you have something to tie me up with,” Ross says matter-of-factly.

“Tie you up?” Dan sounds shocked. “I didn’t exactly bring - bondage gear with me!”

“As if you own anything more kinky than a vibrator.”

“I have handcuffs, thank you very much!”

“Have you ever used them with anybody?”

Dan splutters.

“I didn’t think so.” Ross leans in carefully, not wanting to dislodge Dan’s dick from where it’s poised so perfectly at his entrance, and kisses Dan on the eyebrow. “Now are we done playing twenty questions? Can I sit on your dick now please?”

Dan’s mouth opens and nothing comes out. He nods dumbly.

Ross gives him a little grin and begins to lower himself. For a moment there’s nothing but pressure, and a little pain - nothing Ross can’t handle - but then his body yields and Dan’s cock pushes inside, drawing a cry from Dan and a quick sucked breath from Ross.

“Oh,” Dan gasps. “Oh, fuck. Oh fuck Ross.”

Ross has to stop halfway, panting. His thighs are already shaking. 

Dan looks concerned. “Wait, am I hurting you?”

Ross shakes his head quickly, unable to speak at the moment. It feels far more intense than he thought. Dan is fucking huge, bigger than even the dildo that he liked Holly to use on him. 

“Ross,” Dan says quietly. “Talk to me. Should we slow down?”

Ross finds his voice. “No. No, please. It’s good. It’s very good. Just…wow.” He moves his hips slowly, gritting his teeth, pulling off slightly before plunging back down almost all the way. A sharp jolt of pleasure arcs up his spine and his mouth opens in an O.

“You look amazing,” Dan tells him. “You’re perfect.”

“Am I?” God, Dan’s absurdly sweet. Ross raises up and sinks back down, firmly seating himself in Dan’s lap, then leans forward to kiss Dan’s panting mouth.

Dan kisses him back hard, his tongue pushing into Ross’s mouth eagerly. Ross can feel his big dick pulse inside him.

“Fuck,” Ross gasps, clenching. “ _Dan._ You feel so fucking good in me.”

He swears he can feel Dan’s dick swell even more at the praise. “You feel so tight,” he breathes in response. “Feels so good when you squeeze me like that.”

Ross grins. “I can make it even better.”

He throws his head back and begins bouncing in earnest. He knows he sounds like a fucking porn star when he gets fucked, his moans and cries turning to little breathy screams if he’s getting it just right. It used to embarrass him, but then he learned that most people loved it.

Dan certainly does. He’s getting bolder, his hands beginning to wander hesitantly over Ross’s body as Ross bounces in his lap. Dan strokes his chest and tweaks his nipples, slides his hands around to cautiously squeeze Ross’s ass. When Ross amps up the volume of his noises to show his appreciation, Dan finally dares to touch Ross’s cock.

“Am I doing this right?” Dan asks in a trembling voice as he makes his index finger and thumb into a ring and starts to stroke lightly. 

“Do you - oh, fuck yes - do you not know how to jack off a cock?”

“Well, I know how to do it to _myself._ ”

“Well,” Ross chokes out a laugh. “It’s the same concept, only mine’s smaller.”

“I just want it to be good for you.” Dan’s hand settles into a more relaxed position as he gets used to the feeling. “You’re making it so good for me. I want to make you feel this good, too.”

“You are,” Ross gasps out. “Trust me. Trust me, this is amazing.”

Dan may be slow, but he learns quick. His long fingers are softer than Ross anticipated. He strokes Ross slowly, curiously, then lifts his palm to his mouth and licks it. When his slick hand returns to the job, Ross’s thighs begin to shake again. Oh, Christ, he was close already too, what the fuck? Stamina was normally one of his strong points.

“Change of scenery,” Ross declares. “Lets go up to my room.” 

Dan actually looks smug. “Need a little break already?” he teases. 

Ross dismounts carefully. “Nope. Just easier for you to fuck me doggy style on a bed.”

“I could bend you over the couch,” Dan suggests.

Ross grins. Dan’s getting bolder, and he likes it. “You could. Next time.”

“Your bedroom is so far,” Dan grumbles, but when Ross gets up and saunters toward the stairs, Dan trots along behind him obediently. Ross knows Dan’s staring, and he moves his hips exaggeratedly to give him a show.

Ross’s room is messy. He steps carefully around the piles of clothes on the floor. The covers are already pulled back. Ross flops belly-first onto the sheets, arching his back to present his ass for Dan. 

The bed dips as Dan climbs on after him. Dan’s hands settle on Ross’s thighs and slide firmly upward with confidence. Ross moans as Dan squeezes his ass. Dan’s breath is coming heavy and fast. Ross can feel the moist air on his bare skin and it makes him shiver.

Dan presses a kiss to the base of Ross’s spine. “You look so sexy like this. I can‘t believe this is really happening.”

“Your dick’s already been in my ass and my mouth, and you still can’t believe this is happening?”

Dan smacks him on the butt lightly. “You wanna keep making fun of me, or do you want my dick again?”

“Both, please.”

“You are such a brat.”

“Maybe you should spank me again,” Ross suggests cheerfully. “It might help me learn my lesson.”

“I seriously doubt it.”

Ross hums. “Do you like watermelon?”

“What?”

“The lube we used,” Ross pushes his ass up higher. “It’s watermelon flavoured.”

“What does that have to do with - _oh._ ”

“Please,” Ross’s voice grows tight. He’s so worked up, so ready, so wanting. “Please, Danny. Eat me out.”

Dan lowers himself carefully, settling over Ross’s lower body, propped up on one elbow. His long hair tickles when it drapes over Ross’s upper thighs. Dan spreads him open slowly, reverently. The air is cool on Ross’s exposed hole. It’s almost unbearable, the anticipation. 

“Okay,” Dan says, mostly to himself. “Okay. I got this.” He gives Ross a dainty lick. His tongue is wide and wet and warm. 

Ross moans musically to encourage him and tries not to wriggle. He’s pretty sure this is new territory for Dan. Ross wonders briefly if he should have started Dan on something less adventurous. But fuck, he loves getting eaten out, almost as much as he loves getting fucked. 

Dan licks him again, firmer, more sure of himself. When Ross begins to moan his name, he really goes to town. Ross yelps as Dan’s mouth settles over his hole, lips and tongue moving over him, so velvety-soft. His stubble scrapes against Ross’s cheeks. Dan laps at him wetly until Ross begins to fist the sheets and beg for more. 

“Yeah?” Dan asks, sounding pleased. “You like this?” And then Dan actually closes his lips and _sucks_.

Ross makes a little scream and bites the pillow, because who the hell even was this sex god who was straight like four months ago and who turned red as a tomato when someone talked about dicks in front of him but apparently knew how to eat ass like a pro? Ross’s mind is going a mile a minute and he can’t stop it, it’s too much, too much sensation and too much pleasure. His leg starts to jiggle and twitch. 

“Danny,” he groans, his back bowing. “Dan, I need you. Need you in me again.”

“You want my big dick?” Dan’s voice is sexy, all dark and smoky, and Ross feels another wave of unreality flow over him. When did Dan get so - _dominant_? It would be fun to push him, to act the brat until Dan got a little rough, but that sounded like a lot of effort. Ross was slick and stretched and perfectly prepped and there was an eight-inch dick attached to a very good-looking guy kneeling behind him, and there really wasn’t any time to fuck around. Maybe next time. Maybe after he’s already come all over himself.

“Yes I want your big dick,” Ross answers, and can’t stop himself from adding, “Duh.”

“Now who’s ruining the mood?” Dan counters, laughing. He gives Ross another firm lick, and then his hands are sliding around to grip Ross’s hips, urging him to lift up.

Ross scrambles to his hands and knees happily.

“Did you bring that lube upstairs with you?” 

“There’s more in the bathroom.”

“Why’s it all the way in the bathroom?”

“Because I put it there.”

Dan grumbles and huffs, but before Ross is even done talking, he’s s getting to his feet. Ross cranes his neck to get a look at Dan, searching through the drawers in the en-suite bathroom. Naked from behind, he’s bony and lanky, angles instead of curves, his ass only slightly rounded rather than totally flat. Standing against the harsh light of the four big frosted bulbs over the mirror, Dan’s casting a shadow on the bedroom wall. When he turns to the side Ross is amused to see the giant shadow of his dick. 

“Kiss me,” Ross demands as Dan returns holding the giant economy sized bottle of lube.

“That was the plan.” Dan pushes Ross down flat on his belly again and rolls him over. Ross likes the manhandling almost as much as he likes the taste of Dan’s mouth and the wet drag of Dan’s hard cock against his belly.

Ross thinks again about Dan standing in the stark light, his small pert butt on display. He smoothes his hands down Dan’s back, further down, his hands mapping the slight curves. His fingers dip between Dan’s cheeks.

Dan’s breath hitches, his muscles clenching. “Ross…” 

“Sorry,” Ross says hastily, and means it. He knows better. Dan’s said before that he’s had girls touch him there unexpectedly, and that he didn’t like it.

Dan kisses him again. “It’s okay. It just startled me. I’ve never - well, you know. One thing at a time, okay? Maybe another day, we can try - something else.”

“What? Really?” Ross pulls back and studies Dan’s face. He grins. “You mean it! You totally want me to do butt stuff to you!”

“Oh, my God.” Dan shoves at Ross’s hip, turning him back on his stomach. “Let’s talk about that later. Please.”

“You can’t just tease me like that! Dude, just you wait, I have this vibrator I could put in you, it once made me shoot about ten feet straight up. I was like a fountain.” 

“Ten feet.”

“At _least_ ten feet, it was crazy. Holly was so impressed.”

“Ross, can we just focus? I’m supposed to be fucking you.” 

Oh, right. “Then what are you waiting for?” Ross gets back on all fours, accidentally hitting Dan in the face with his ass. 

Dan curses as he gets settled on his knees. Ross is laughing, his signature cackle, even as he wags his hips enticingly. He hears the slick sound of Dan pumping more lube over himself.

“You’re really lucky you’re so cute,” Dan mutters.

“Holly tells me that a lot,” Ross says brightly. Then he yelps as Dan squirts a pump of cold lube down his crack. “Ah!”

It’s Dan’s turn to laugh at him. He takes himself in hand and rubs the tip over Ross’s waiting hole. Ross’s yelp turns into a moan. They both move, adjusting as they get a feel for how this position will work. Ross shifts his knees together to lift himself higher, and Dan inches forward. 

“You ready?“ Dan asks, that husky voice back once again. He waits for Ross’s noise of assent. “Okay,” Dan takes a breath. “Okay, here we go.” And then he’s pushing in, just like that. 

He feels bigger from behind than he did when Ross was riding him. The stretch makes him whimper and squeeze his eyes shut, overcome by how good it feels to be filled like this. There’s no pain, just a bit of pressure. Dan’s going so damn slow. It’s intense. Ross’s head feels floaty and light.

“Mmm,” Ross hums. He shifts more weight to his knees and reaches beneath himself to give his dick a few strokes. His hand comes away wet. A quick glance beneath himself reveals that he’s already made a little puddle of pre-come on the sheets.

Dan pushes deeper, his hand pressing lightly on Ross’s tailbone. “Does it feel good?”

“Oh, fuck yeah.” Ross moves back, impaling himself further. “Feels like you’re splitting me in half.”

“And that’s…you _like_ that?”

Ross rolls his eyes again. “Yes, Dan, I like it.”

“Good,” Dan says, a little breathless. He gives a gentle thrust and Ross whines happily. 

“More,” Ross demands, and Dan does it again. On the next thrust Ross moves forward as Dan pulls back, times it so they both come together at the same time. That pulls a startled moan out of Dan, so Ross does it again. Finally Dan gets the picture.

Dan settles into a rhythm, his thrusts becoming smooth and sure. “This is incredible. This is…oh, wow. Fuck, Ross, look at you, stretched so wide around me. Just _taking_ it, God.”

Ross likes to lose himself in the submission of getting fucked, likes to let himself drift, and though he’s loud, most of his noises are moans. Dan, on the other hand, clearly loves to babble. He tells Ross how pretty he looks, how much he loves him, how good Ross is making him feel. It’s a little too saccharine for Ross, who usually likes filthy bedroom talk, but to his surprise he finds himself blushing. For a while he’s content to enjoy Dan’s romance and slow pace, but soon he needs more.

“Harder,” he says, interrupting Dan’s soliloquy about how perfect Ross’s ass is, and Dan speeds up so slightly that Ross barely even notices the difference. “ _Faster_ , come on,” Ross urges, and Dan changes his deep slow thrusts to quicker shallow ones. Ross growls, frustrated. 

It does feel pretty damn good, as slow as it is. Dan clearly doesn’t know where his prostate is, but he’s accidentally found it a few times now. Ross encourages him with moans when Dan finds the right angle, and Dan is quick on the uptake. He learns how to lean forward slightly, getting his cock to rub up close to the spot that makes Ross feel so good. But it’s still not what Ross craves, what he needs.

“I want it _hard_ ,” Ross demands. “I told you. I want you to go as hard as you can. Want to feel it for days. Dan. Danny, please. _Dan_ ,” Ross knows he’s whining, that he probably sounds like the biggest cockslut in in the world. He doesn’t care. “Harder, fuck me harder, please please _please_.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me, I promise.”

Dan’s uncertain. “You still feel so tight…I’m already going pretty hard…”

“I know what I can take, okay?”

“But - ”

“Give it to me, fuck, stop being a gentleman and just _fuck_ me!” Ross shouts, pushing his ass back forcefully to meet Dan’s next smooth thrust. Their bodies collide with a smack and Ross gives a high-pitched moan.

Dan makes a rough noise and grabs onto Ross’s hips. “Fuck, okay. Okay, yeah, take it.”

Oh, fucking _finally._ Ross buries his face into the pillow with a rough cry as Dan fucks him to the beat that burns in his blood, steady now, and deep, his bony hips smacking against Ross’s ass hard enough to bruise. 

“This is incredible,” Dan pants. “You’re so good at this. So good at taking cock.”

“Oh, I know.” Ross preens, arching his back even more, giving Dan a hell of a view. 

“Smug bastard.” Dan shifts his knees, changes the angle, and suddenly he’s slamming straight into Ross’s prostate, and _holyfuckingshit_. Ross gives a short scream.

“Right there, right there Danny, yeah, like that, don’t stop, don’t stop fucking me!” 

It feels like drowning. Ross’s whole body is on fire, that sweet friction going up and up and up, a current of pleasure racing between his ass and his cock. Dan’s finally stopped talking, probably unable to form coherent sentences anymore. Ross loves the noises Dan’s making, musical moans and little breathy _oh_ s and _fuck_ s. He loves knowing that it’s good for Dan, that he’s giving Dan a new and amazing experience. Ross can be selfish in the bedroom, but he does love to please.

Dan shoves himself in to the hilt and holds himself there, as deep as he can go. He bends over Ross’s back as he reaches beneath Ross’s body to grab his cock, and his cock shifts, pressing hard on Ross’s prostate just as Dan’s hand starts to stroke him earnestly.

That’s it for Ross. It’s too much sensation, just too much for him to contain. He shakes like a leaf, the pleasure bordering on pain, but it’s good, it’s so perfect. Ross starts to shout hoarsely, writhing beneath Dan’s body. 

“You were right,” Dan says. “It _would_ have been easier if I tied you up.”

Ross thinks about it, thinks about being on all fours like this with his wrists bound behind his back, his feet tied together. He squeezes his eyes shut. “Dan, I’m gonna - ” Ross’s voice cracks and the words die on his tongue. He cries out as he tips over the edge, and then his cry becomes a rough scream, so loud that it hurts his throat. 

It’s different now that Ross has already come. He’s sensitive, overly so, the pressure of Dan inside him almost too much to handle. Ross hears himself whimpering with every thrust. His elbows buckle and his upper body falls heavily on the bed. The movement jostles Dan, and together they collapse, Ross lying fully on his stomach with Dan lying on top of him. Dan’s not too heavy, but he braces some of his weight on his hands so he’s not crushing Ross into the mattress. 

“Should I pull out?” Dan asks, lips brushing Ross’s ear.

“No,” Ross manages. “It’s good, it’s still good. Want you to come in me. Want to feel it.”

Dan won’t last long, Ross can tell. He can’t move as much like this, but he seems to be enjoying himself. He rocks his hips gently. “I love you, Ross,” he says into Ross’s hair. “Love you so much.”

That brings a smile to Ross’s face. Leave it to Dan to get mushy right before he comes. “I love you too, Danny,” he says, simple and sweet, and that’s actually what does it for Dan. Ross hears him gasp loudly, feels his cock pulse. There’s a warm blossom of heat deep inside of him, Dan’s come filling him up. Ross closes his eyes and just breathes, riding out the pleasure of it. 

Dan is a heavy dead weight on him now. He’s boneless, totally spent. His lips move messily over the back of Ross’s neck, over his shoulder, pressing open-mouth kisses on his skin.

Dan rolls to the side, his softening cock slipping free. Ross makes a face into the pillow as he feels Dan’s come sliding down his thigh. There’s a lot of it. He wonders when Dan jerked off last. 

“Fuck,” Dan groans. Ross turns to the side and grins at the sight of Dan. His hair is a frizzy cloud, his face flushed, his mouth hanging open as he gulps air. He looks wrecked.

Ross’s grin splits his face. “I’m gonna be walking funny for a _week_ ,” he announces proudly.

“That’s… a good thing?” Dan asks feebly. He puts an arm around Ross’s waist, his big palm flat on Ross’s lower back

Ross just rolls his eyes and cuddles up to Dan’s chest. “It’s a very good thing. I’ll be thinking about you every time I sit down.”

“Good.” Dan reaches down, puts two fingers under Ross’s chin to lift his face up for a kiss. 

Ross floats, high on the feeling of getting exactly what he wanted. He’s not sure how much time passes as they lay together, breathing in tandem. It doesn’t matter. His eyes are closed but he can feel Dan gazing at him. Dan kisses him on the forehead, cards his fingers through Ross’s hair.

Sometime later, the bed dips. Dan’s getting up. 

Ross groans. “Stay,” he says thickly. 

“Bathroom,” Dan reassures him. “I’ll be quick.”

Ross flips the pillow and indulges in the cool side. He hears the toilet flush, the sink run briefly. Then Dan is back, and Ross makes a happy noise and snuggles into Dan’s arms. Dan draws him tight against his body. His fingers trace little figure-eights on Ross’s back, and Ross feels all the tension in his body drain away. 

“I think I wore you out.” Dan’s voice is quiet, amused. Maybe faintly smug. “It’s pretty early for bed. For you, anyway.”

“Nah,” Ross mumbles. “I’m good. ‘M not even sleepy. I think, prolly, I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes….”

The last thing he hears is Dan’s wonderful tinkly laugh.

**

Ross wakes up, momentarily disoriented. He hadn’t set an alarm, but the slant of the sun through the curtains lets him know that it’s still fairly early. Which is odd, because Ross never wakes up early on his own, and when he’s forced to, he never feels this well rested.

Then he registers Dan in his bed. Dan, naked, sprawled on his back and snoring very faintly. 

Ross grins. He feels absurdly happy for ass o’clock in the morning. But a good fucking always did this to him, just knocked him right out and put him in a good mood the next day. 

Thinking about the previous night makes him hard again. He pats at the covers around where he thinks Dan’s crotch is. A-ha. Morning wood. Perfect.

Dan wakes up with a start and a snort as Ross burrows beneath the blankets. “What are you doing?” he croaks, his voice thick and muggy with sleep.

“Round two,” Ross says as he noses around in the dark until he finds what he’s looking for.

Dan peels back the blankets and looks down at Ross with some concern. “Can’t I shower first?”

“You can absolutely fuck me in the shower after I blow you,” Ross says. “If you can get it up again that fast.”

“I - oh, wow, maybe? - but also, we could - I mean, if you wanted - I could try - returning the favour?”

Ross kisses the base of Dan’s cock and peeks up at him impishly. “Oh yeah? You wanna suck my dick?”

“Yeah,” Dan blushes. “I’m probably not very good. I can’t go down all the way like you. I mean, not that I know, but I’m assuming. But you could teach me? And I could do the other thing with my tongue for you. The - you know.”

“You liked doing it?”

“I liked it a _lot._ I think maybe I‘d like it even more if you…gave me instructions, told me what to do. Sometimes I like that. Being told what to do, I mean.”

Now this was unexpected. Ross had not expected this level of adventurousness from Dan. “I could sit on your face. You just hold your tongue out and let me be in control.” He plunges his mouth back down on Dan’s cock.

Dan actually whimpers. After a minute he finally says, “Okay.”

Ross actually stops sucking Dan’s dick to say, “Holy shit, really?”

Dan nods, looking suddenly shy.

“Did I tell you that I love you?”

“A few times, last night,” Dan says, “but I…really like hearing it. I love you too, Ross. _Oh_ , oh fuck, please do that again, I’m gonna - ”

Ross pulls off with a slurp and looks up at Dan innocently as he jerks Dan off all over his face and into his waiting mouth. 

“Shower time,” Ross says brightly, sticking his tongue up to lick the jizz dripping off his nose. “Bring the lube. Water makes everything so _dry_ somehow.”

Two hours later, a damp-haired Dan sprawls on Ross’s couch with a dazed, unfocused look. His shirt is unbuttoned and his necklace of hickeys is very obvious. He groans out loud. “I didn’t think it was physically possible to come three times in a row.” 

Ross puts the kettle on and slips two Pop-Tarts into the toaster. “Is this a bad time to ask you to come back tonight so Holly can join us?”

Dan whimpers again. “What?”

“Me. You. Holly.” Ross makes an obscene hand gesture. “You remember how I said we’ve talked a lot about you? Also, last night you said that maybe you want to try butt stuff, did you mean that? Because remember what I said about the vibrating dildo? It fits in Holly’s harness.”

Dan’s mouth just hangs open. 

Ross leans across the table and gently places half of the Pop-Tart inside with a big smile. “How does eight o’clock sound?”

“God damn it, Ross,” Dan mutters under his breath after he chews and swallows. 

Ross kisses a smear of strawberry jam from Dan’s lip and beams.


End file.
